


Marmalade at Midnight

by Hezikiah



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Food, Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2019-01-26 12:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12557700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hezikiah/pseuds/Hezikiah
Summary: The Doctor really, really likes marmalade...





	Marmalade at Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> This little fic was inspired by Part 16 of of BasMathGirl's story "Pregnant Clause," which is [ a perfectly wonderful fic that you should go read](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1677404/chapters/3562832).

  


The Doctor awoke to the sound of his stomach rumbling. Groaning, he rolled to the side and smacked his lips to work some moisture back into his mouth. He thought the burritos (at least, they looked like burritos) that he and Donna had picked up in New New New Mexico were a tad on the skimpy side. His protesting stomach confirmed his suspicions. The Doctor sighed and rolled out of bed, trying to remember the last time he'd been on a midnight snack raid to the kitchen. He couldn't recall and he grumbled under his breath. “Blimey, I'm getting old.”

Not that he looked it, or even felt it. The Doctor stretched as he glanced at himself in the mirror. His supple frame had the appearance of a healthy human male in his thirties. He was clad only in light blue boxer shorts that featured bright yellow bananas, some of which were peeled and had beaming smiles. They were his favorite underpants, which was why he had ten pairs of them. The Doctor contemplated putting on a robe for propriety's sake, but then decided against that. Donna had gone to bed hours ago and she tended to sleep like a log. The chances of her seeing him were next to nothing.

He padded down the hall towards the kitchen, knowing exactly what he wanted to eat. The Doctor entered the kitchen and went straight for the refrigerator. He took out a small glass jar with a colorful orange and white lid. His long fingers stroked the lid with tender caresses as he went over to the bench at the kitchen table and settled down. Licking his lips in anticipation, the Doctor unscrewed the lid and slid two fingers into the sticky orange mass. He swirled them around before bringing the marmalade-covered digits to his mouth and sucking every last bit of the bittersweet jelly off, letting out a happy moan of delight...

Down the hall, Donna Noble couldn't sleep. This was a rare case of insomnia and she blamed those damn burritos from New New New Mexico for giving her the collywobbles. She rolled onto her side and groaned. What was it her Gran used to give her for stomach aches? Oh yes, peppermint tea. Donna thought she remembered seeing some in the TARDIS' kitchen and she slid out of bed. She thought about pulling a robe on, but then decided not to. She wore pink plaid flannel jammies and the Doctor had seen her in them before, but she pulled on a pair of red fuzzy socks before leaving her room. The kitchen floor could be damn cold.

Just as Donna was about to enter the kitchen, she heard a moan of pleasure coming from inside. Surprised, she stopped in her tracks and stood very still. A moment later, she heard a deep voice growl, “Oh Rassilon, but you're beautiful.”

Donna's forehead wrinkled in consternation. What the hell was going on in there? She didn't know what to do, so she continued to stand there and eavesdrop (which she knew she shouldn't be doing, but her curiosity got the better of her). There was a creak of the bench shifting under someone's weight and the Doctor's voice moaned, “Oh god, that's good. Oh, you're amazing. Mmm...oh..I need more...”

Her cheeks flamed red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger. The Doctor had a woman in there with him! The cheek! Bringing a woman aboard the TARDIS without telling her...never mind that it was his ship.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. _Be reasonable, Donna. As brainy and superior as he wants to appear, underneath that pinstriped exterior, he's still just a bloke, isn't he? Alien or not, that means he has...needs...like blokes do._ She blushed again at those thoughts. Donna didn't even want to think about his needs. It was only natural if the Doctor sought out female company now and again. Company that wasn't...wasn't her.

_Well, of course it's not you, you goose! “Just mates,” remember? The Doctor isn't interested in sharing his bed with some screeching ginger temp from Chiswick. Or...or romps in the kitchen. He's probably got some exotic alien buxom beauty with three breasts like that woman from Total Recall._

But still, Donna felt hurt and little bit jealous that the Doctor was enjoying himself with the company of a woman when her...needs...weren't being met. “Wonder what he'd say if I asked him to take me to a planet so I could find myself a boy toy?” she muttered to herself. She knew exactly what the Doctor would do. He'd give her that shocked stare of his, hair sticking out everywhere, before he spluttered some embarrassed reply.

The Doctor's voice started up again. “I could do this all night long...”

Donna couldn't stand it anymore and she stuck her head around the corner. “Oi!” she bellowed. “You and your lady friend oughta take it your room! I can hear you all the way down the...oh.” She stopped in mid-yell when she saw the Time Lord was alone, stretched out on the bench on his back, wearing nothing but blue boxers shorts with happy bananas on them. He looked at her upside down, his hair poking out in all directions. She saw that he held an empty marmalade jar and two of the fingers on his right hand were sticky.

“Donna?” The Doctor blinked at her. “Is...is something the matter?”

It took her a moment to recover. She wasn't sure what was more shocking: seeing the Doctor in his skivvies or seeing him in that position. She blushed even deeper. “You and your weird habits, Spaceman,” she stuttered.

“This?” He waved the jar. “Just a midnight snack.”

“Sure didn't sound like it and b...boxers.”

The Doctor looked down at himself. “S'my ship,” he said, trying not to sound defensive. “I can walk around in my underpants if I want to.”

“Not while I'm on board, you can't!” she huffed. “And I don't want to know why, when you're eating marmalade, you sound like...like...”

The Doctor grinned, enjoying seeing his ginger companion squirm a bit. “...Like I'm in the throes of passion with a lady friend?”

Donna's eyes grew round in shock. “You. Are. Bonkers!” she waved her hands in the air in exasperation and stomped off to the med bay to see if she could find something for her stomach, all thoughts of peppermint tea having fled her mind.

The Doctor giggled and got up from the bench. Perhaps he was being a bit cruel to Donna, but seeing her all flustered was too funny. He'd make it up to her later with a shopping trip. He put the jar into the TARDIS' recycling bin and washed his hands at the sink before heading back to bed, his stomach now satiated with delicious marmalade.

The next morning, Donna entered the control room. The Doctor was sitting in the captain's chair wearing his blue suit, red Converse trainers on the console, and playing with a yo-yo. “There you are!” he proclaimed as she came over to him. He shoved the yo-yo into his pocket, jumped up, and started flipping levers and pulling switches.

Donna eyed him. He seemed to have forgotten what had happened last night. Donna decided not to mention it. “So, where are we headed to next?”

The Doctor glanced up as the time rotor began wheezing and grinding. “Oh, we need to pop by earth for a quick grocery run at Tesco. Thought we could do a little bit of shopping, too, if you'd like.”

Donna's face lit up at the prospect of shopping. “Oh yes, please!” she enthused. “But, Doctor, we just fetched groceries two days ago. What did we forget?”

The ship went _thunk_ and the time rotor slowed to a halt. The Doctor bounced towards the door, snatching up his long brown coat from its customary place on the strut. As he pulled it on, he turned to look back at her. “Marmalade. I'm all out and you _know_ how much I love marmalade.”

Donna turned bright red and she spluttered in shock while the Doctor strolled out the door, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.


End file.
